Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Coming Home

It's our last night in India. We haven't posted anything in a while, partially because there hasn't been much to talk about - that is, that we'd want to post on the blog anyway.

There have been massive highs and lows, and for Adam particularly, there has been a lot of very tough, emotional times. This trip has presented us both with many challenges, in our practice as well as personally. It has not always been easy. It has however presented us both with a chance to learn and grow like never before. I have gained a different perspective on life, and my understanding of what is possible has broadened incredibly.

When I left Canada, I felt as though I was in a rut; working at a job I hated, not pursuing the career path that I had set out for myself in college, and just generally not feeling very fulfilled. My view for so long has been that I'm going to do something I don't want to do - in order to get to a place that I could be happy - later. Never now. Happiness and fulfillment was always a series of undesirable tasks away. I've learned that it doesn't have to be that way. It is possible to make a living doing things that inspire you, give you energy rather than steal it from you. I won't allow myself to forget that lesson. When I get back home, rather than just start looking for a job and doing what I think I "should" do, I'm going to search for the life I want to live, and do everything in my power to make that happen. We're all going to die. Knowing that, the only thing worth doing is that which truly fills you with joy, and everything else is just an obstacle.

I'll be leaving India with mixed emotions. I am happy to be returning home; to see my family and all those I care about, to sleep in my incredibly comfortable bed (and in my nice, quiet neighbourhood!) and to move on with the next phase of my life. I am also sad to go; I have made so many good friends, met so many interesting people from all over the world; there is truly a great sense of community here. I will miss Saraswathi, my beloved teacher, and the beautiful, slow pace of life here; spending hours eating breakfast, just talking with friends, nowhere to be, no pressing issues to be taken care of. I will miss all the wonderful locals I've met, who have made us feel welcomed into their community. I'll miss the palm trees and the weather (even though it is oppressively hot these days) and days spent at the pool at Hotel Regalis. I'll miss the adorable stray dogs on my walk to the shala every morning. And the food! Ah, the food.

This trip has been everything I could have asked for - and a lot I didn't - and more. I can't wait to come back.

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