Monday, March 5, 2012

Sinking Hearts

Sorry for the wait, Internet troubles have caused a back-up of posts.

Days continue to pass and our practice is getting better. Aaron is now completing the full primary series and has been given the first two poses of second series. I have finally bound in Marichyasana D (with serious, firm assistance from Saraswathi) and am being given the rest of the primary series day by day. Now I am hoping to be practicing the full primary before we leave.

We both battled a week or so of being sick following our elephant and temple adventure. On top of the sickness, we appear to have run out of things to keep us entertained. Our I-pad games have been far over-played, we've watched every movie and show we brought, more than once, and we've seen the local sites worth seeing.

The days pass much more slowly now. Until recently I had been chatting with my girlfriend back in Canada on Skype for an hour or two almost every day. She's left Canada for a week to vacation with a girlfriend in Mexico. For a week we exchange only small emails and details about our experiences.

Boredom is taking it's toll on us both. There is not much to keep you busy here, unless you opt to take courses in Sanskrit, meditation, Ayurveda, massage etc., or you aware willing/able to spend enough money daily to keep yourself entertained.

We've recently started heading to the pool more often, several times a week, to escape the empty, repetitive days.

With only an hour and a half - the morning practice, to keep us busy each day, the rest of the day drags and seems to take a lifetime. Encountering some troubles back home, boredom coupled with stress and worry - with nothing to take my mind off of it, have taken a serious toll. It has affected even my practice. My calm, meditative practice has been replaced by a practice dominated with thoughts of stress or worry and a desire to be home.

Our Internet situationt took a sudden down-turn, as men showed up to work on and adjust the location of the modem in the building, so residents on the top floor can still access it. After a short while with no internet, we are connected again. However, with the modem farther away, the signal has been weaker, cutting in and out, and with more people using it, the Internet has slowed to a crawl.

Our living situation has also been greatly affected by the arrival of a construction crew. They've set up tents directly next to our apartment, feet away from the window to our bedroom, to build a new building next to ours. At night they play their radios and laugh and joke loudly, until finally around 11:30 it goes silent.

Waking up at 4 after falling asleep at 12 every day for over 2 weeks now, has not been enjoyable.

After practice, when we arrive back at our apartment, the workers are up and shouting, hammering, clanking, and smashing away. Along with the loud traffic, roaring engines and constant honking, day-time naps are just as, if not more difficult than the night-time sleeps. Days of true rest only seem to come when the mind and body are so tired that there is not much to be done to prevent sleep.

My drive and resolve to be here have reached an all time low. I am happy to be making progress, however the thought alone of progressing in my practice is not enough to keep my spirits high.

Now just over 1/2 way finished our trip, I am looking at the coming 6 remaining weeks with distress. I look forward to making progress with my practice, yet all else seems to be disheartening. The reality of 3 months in India, as well as the trouble it can cause back home, have hit us harder than ever as we pass the half way point.

We are hopeful that something will happen, something will come up and lift our spirits once again... Bring back our motivation and allow these final weeks to pass with relative ease. For the moment, the future appears dismal.

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